Sunday, December 04, 2005

Do Not Disturb

This is my second consecutive day off from work -- the longest break I've had in six weeks. Subsequently, I find myself starry-eyed and restless. The day turned chilly after a long string of 70-plus days, so that's a nice change.
I just don't know what to do with myself right now, which is unusual for me. I'm usually easily entertained or engrossed with something. I can spend days just reading (if the book is good), or watching movies (ditto), but today I'm uneasy and fidgeting for some inexplicable reason. I've asked myself what's up, but found no answer.
I know that I'm frustrated with the season - you know, the Christmas season. I'm feeling a little out of it this year, and that saddens me because I usually enjoy watching the people buzzing about busily, shopping for gifts, gazing through store windows and generally behaving somewhat mindlessly.
But I am not amused, though I wish that I were.
The sum of my day is this -- I've checked on quotes by Sir Winston Churchill, I've checked on comments for blogs on the "Help" site for this service; I've typed a note to a business associate and I've thought about things I need to accomplish this week. That's it. In short, I've done nothing at all all day.
I'm kind of bummed out because a nasty cold has had me coughing my lungs up for about a week now, with no relief in sight. No matter how much Robitussin I swig, no matter how many benedryls I pop, my nose continues to dribble and my chest continues heaving deep, rumbling, phlegmy coughs and it's really bugging me!
I've spent short intervals focused on my breathing and that seems to help, at least so long as I'm doing it, but I quickly fall right back into hacking and spewing spittle-laced blasts and it's annoying, to say the least.
I guess at root I'm actually feeling a bit lonely and sad. I haven't been able to raise my lady love today and I don't know what's going with her. When she stops answering her cell phone it means one of two things: I'm in hot water, or she's feeling disconnected and doesn't want my company.
And so it goes.
Too much nothing, and nothing to replace it with something.