Monday, May 25, 2015

What difference does it make?

MOST MOMENTS pass unnoticed in this life. Simply slipping into the mists of the past, the done, the overlooked, and the inconsequential.
What moments are noticed?
Who the hell knows? Lots! Lately, I find myself noticing the way pigeons take off and land, and how stupid they are when it comes to egg laying. They drop their eggs on the ledge of the library building and, because there's a slight slant to the ledge, the slightest breeze sets the eggs to rolling and, SPLAT!
They appear to be the dumbest bunch of birds in creation, but they're not.
Lately I find myself wondering what a line of ants is transmitting to each single ant in the nest; what messages are transmitted by that short-lived touch of wiggling antennae as they pass each other?
Some days I wonder what people think about life, and space, and the sun, and time.
Like I said, most moments go unnoticed, but the ones that don't tend to perplex more than they ease my mind.
My back and my arteries tell me I'm getting old. I'm 64 (like the McCartney song mentions), and sometimes I think my body is a good one, as physical bodies go. It's been through hellish and brutal encounters, that's for sure, but it's still giving me moments of pleasure and, of course, pain.
But the alternative is not appealing at this moment.
Lately time slaps me in the back of the head, sneaking up on me and startling me with its sudden in-rush of reality. Where just a second ago I was focused on a color or a shape, next thing I know, BAM! I'm planning what to do tomorrow, and I feel frustrated and foolish for not paying attention to those all important details - tomorrow.
If the lord could extend me a favor, I'd ask for another 25 years of life, just to find out what happens next.
But I know that the lord doesn't have the power to grant favors; nor is he inclined in that direction.
God plays his cards close the vest, so you'll never know what hand's about to be laid down in front of you. Most times you don't even know what you've bet, so it can be truly life-altering when you lose a poker hand to god, believe me. I know!


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