Ah, the beauty of the holiday season - Jeez, I may not survive!

Christalmighty! While celebrating Christmas with my lady friend's family I got whacked in the head by a broom handle when one of the nephews took a vicious swing at a snowman-shaped pinada and missed. The missile glanced off my skull and knocked a 2-inch deep hole in the sheetrock wall behind me.

Next, while climbing up on a toilet seat to replace a burned out bulb I violently jammed my teeth together when I hit my head on a low-hanging shelf. And then, you guessed it, I smacked (yep) my head when I quickly turned around in Beall's and had a nasty meeting with a "Sale" sign. The damn thing was attached to the wall at the perfect height to crack my forehead. It put a neat little hole in my forehead and, blood trickling down my face, I completed my purchase (new pants) and stumbled dizzily out of the store to my car.

I'm beginning to think I need a helmet to ge through the holidays since I seemed to have developed a propensity for banging it. I feel like I've been in a football scrimmage with 300-lb. gorillas! Ouch!

And so it goes. So, I hope your holidays are going a bit more safely than mine. And I hope that the new year is soooooo much better than 2003 - what a f$#@^* up year - at least for me. And thanks to G.W. Bush, I think a lot of other folks have been through the proverbial ringer too.

Well, I've got a floor to mop and some dishes to wash. Unfortunately, my girlfriend has broken tooth and is suffering like Christ on the cross (I speak figuratively, of course) and she's unable to move without excruciating pain. So I've volunteered to help get the kitchen in order (nice guy, eh?).

So I bid you fond adieu and farwell. Happy New Year!