Thanksgiving Day - YaDaYaDaYaDa

What does it all mean? Yea, what does it all mean, all this consumption, buying and chasing the perfect gift for every one you want to please? What is this ambivalence my shrink tells me I have deeply seated in my subconscious? And how will know it if it's subconscious?

I cannot tell you how much I loathe the Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday season because the depth of my depression steals the words. Suffice it to say that I think the world would be a better place if we simply put this old hack holiday on the shelf under the heading "Misguided imaginations" and leave it at that.

No, I'm not Scrooge reincarnated, though some may choose to see my thoughts as a reflection of that simplistic egomaniac's psyche. No. I'm simply saddened about the whole commercial, get more, give more, spend more, more, more so you can buy the happiness of your --- fill in the blank (children, wife, lover, friend, et al). It's nice to get a gift, don't get me wrong. But my feelings about a person aren't affected at all by the material things someone may decide to give me.

Hell, if I had my way we'd all just decide to spend more time with one another, talking about the books we've read, the dreams we've dreamt and the way our worldviews have changed since we last spoke.

C'est la vie.

I haven't heard from my siblings in months and I don't know how much longer my mother will be on this planet and I have an urge to see her before she dies, although I couldn't tell you why if asked. I suppose these issues play some role in my mordant outlook du jour.

In the end, who really knows anything at all about anyone? Eh?